Rebuilding Hospitality with Quendrida Whitmore, Executive Coach

Employees are demanding change, evidenced by widespread staff turnovers and union organization. Quendrida Whitmore, also known as “Coach Quen,” helps build better bosses and positive workplace cultures by being intentional about “how” work gets done.

Quendrida Whitmore writes on leadership in Boston Hospitality Review.

Coach Quen®
Quendrida Whitmore, Executive Coach and Founder of Quendrida Whitmore Coaching and Consulting

The “Distinguished” podcast is produced by Boston University School of Hospitality Administration.

Host: Arun Upneja, Dean
Producer: Mara Littman, Director of Corporate and Public Relations
Sound Engineer and Editor: Andrew Hallock
Graphic Design: Rachel Hamlin, Marketing Manager

Music: “Airport Lounge" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0

Transcript

Arun Upneja: Welcome to the Distinguished Podcast, produced by Boston University School of Hospitality Administration. I'm Arun Upneja, Dean of the school, and my guest today is Quendrida Whitmore, executive coach and career consultant. Quendrida helps leaders and organizations transform their futures. She gained experience in executive positions, leading teams for over 25 years. Prior to launching her consulting firm, Quendrida was Senior Vice President in Hospitality and Operations with WeWork, as head of community in the United States, Canada, Peru and Costa Rica. Quendrida has been involved with our school, first as a speaker at our school's Hospitality Leadership Summit, on the subject of the importance of values and building a purpose-driven culture in the workplace. That happened last year, and a couple of students introduced you, you walked up on the stage. It was impressive, but it's when you started speaking, Quendrida, that a bolt of electricity ran through the entire leadership of Shaw. We all looked at each other, very impressed and said, we need to get her involved in our school. We did, full disclosure, we did try to hire you as a faculty member here. You have your doctorate. But of course, today is not a very, very good day. It's snowing out in Boston, and you didn't want to leave sunny Dallas for snowy Boston. However, we did manage to get you involved. So you are here this week as an executive in residence, where we are fortunate to utilize your experience and expertise and leadership as a guest lecturer in several classes and mentorship sessions with students, and executive coaching with the faculty and staff. It's a pleasure to welcome you back to our school, to Boston, and here on this podcast. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Thank you so much. I definitely did not want to move from Dallas, but I enjoy every time I come and spend time with everyone here at School of Hospitality. So I definitely appreciate the invite back, and I will come back as many times as you invite me. So thank you so much. 

Arun Upneja: Just be careful what you say because we will get you back very often. So let's talk about hospitality, which is something that we all love, which is a profession. At its root, it's to give without the expectation of getting a reward in return. And that's how, generally speaking, the whole world understands hospitality. It's also about welcoming the stranger. Of course, and we are in the business of hospitality. The agreement between the employer and employee is to provide compensation for these efforts. Nevertheless, significant emotional labor goes into hospitality. Do you think this is a unique characteristic of our business?And does that make hospitality much more complex to operate than any other business? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes. I do think that the emotion and the labor of the emotion that goes behind it is definitely a different beast in hospitality. And I think because of that, the type of people that are attracted to hospitality are the people who love serving and who love making sure that people get what they want and need. But with that is a toll that comes with this emotional giving of everything. And does it ever come back to them, you know, from the customers, from the other side? And I think people who build a phenomenal partnership and people who get repeat customers back, it is very fulfilling for them. I think in other times, it may be a little bit more challenging. I do think it is a little bit more unique to hospitality than some other industries. 

Arun Upneja: And I guess that's part of the reason why so many people leave hospitality. So it's a passion for you, myself and everyone who is listening to this podcast. However, in recent years, in large part accelerated by COVID, we've seen a high number of people leave hospitality. So you wrote an article, Rebuilding Hospitality Strong for Boston Hospitality Review, which is our school's online journal. In your research and observations, why do you think many people left hospitality during the pandemic and they leave? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yeah, I think it's a great question. And I do think that COVID was extremely challenging for the hospitality industry and especially the front lines. It became where it was, what your life could have been in danger. And that became the balancing point of what's the pay and compensation and the fulfillment that I get from this versus what I'm now having to put is a possible safety issue. And then staffing became a challenge in the COVID for all these companies. And so that was more that you had to give. And then compensation and benefits may not have been enough to cover that. Along with the personal things that people were going through at home with loved ones that were sick or having to take care of the children that just who weren't in school physically, but at home, there was a lot going on. And I think a lot of people left because of that reason. I do think getting them back is absolutely possible with an attention on the pay and benefits and making sure that we do what's right there. But then also with an attention on engaging and developing and a specific intentional focus on talent and making sure you have the right people. And giving them and engaging them the way that they should be so that they can continue to advance, continue to promote and continue to grow within the hospitality industry. 

Arun Upneja: So I do want to get into this compensation package and what all is needed in a little while. But I want to just stay on the pandemic for a moment. Generally speaking, many people did think and talk about service employees as being frontline employees, frontline workers. But it was not universal. I think some people did pay lip service, but the compensation levels, the rewards from the society, from the government, none of that matched up to the reality. And that's pretty distressing and that could be one of the reasons why they left. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, absolutely. I agree and I think that there was a realization as we were all going to the grocery stores, right, with our mask on, deciding when we could go, what we were going to do, the workers that were there, the people who were delivering all of our food to us, all of right from grocery stores and just from the restaurants that fought to stay open, to make sure that they could also deliver food to people. I don't know that it was universally appreciated. The danger that people were putting their lives in, the stress that that caused, and how much people gave of themselves during that time. And I agree with you 100%. I don't think that it did match with an acknowledgement of what was given from those folks. 

Arun Upneja: You know, what is interesting is that the people who are working in restaurants and in general the service employees, some people might think that it's voluntary. It's, you know, you're going there to earn a livelihood and so forth. But you know, as the pandemic has shown us, we are, as a society, we are human beings, are very social people and we crave companionship and we crave going out and meeting. And in the long run, it's good for our industry that, you know, people have come to realize that. But it was during that time at the pandemic when people didn't really appreciate that. And you know, that was pretty distressing to a lot of us. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes. Absolutely. Even the introvert in me, there's a point, right, where it's time to connect and it's time to make sure that I have the places to go and the people to enjoy. And so it is absolutely human to connect and to want. And I think to your point, the pandemic underscored that for us. And it's a blessing for our industry. But it's unfortunately that it takes so long. 

Arun Upneja: What's been called the great resignation, you refer to as the great reflection. Can you tell us more about this distinction? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, absolutely. So I think that when we saw people starting to leave all industries really and really reflect on what they wanted out of life, I think for the first time ever, it definitely in my time on this earth that everything sold down and everyone had time and with that time people started realizing as they got a chance to not be on the road every week from their family right to not be at work for 90 hours a week all of these pieces they started realizing that there was more to their life than just the company that they worked for and so they started reflecting on what they really wanted and if they really wanted to return back to what they were doing previously and I think that that's what the great resignation is is that people were reflecting and they were going I this isn't enough and this doesn't match my values and I want something more and I want something different. I think the challenge with that is that some people absolutely took that time to reflect when they jumped from something and other folks didn't reflect and they jumped from something to jump to something else and then that's what created that you know the great boomerang is I think what people started calling it is people started going back to where they were before or they went to a company that ended up being the same or possibly even worse than where they were and so I think that reflection is really important right learning happens in reflection and if people didn't take the time to reflect that is what they absolutely needed to do to make sure they were moving into something that they were they would thrive. 

Arun Upneja: Is this reflection part uniquely American? When I travel around the world, I find that this single minded pursuit of money that we kind of have in the United States is not very clearly reflected in other societies, for example, in France, you get right in your first job in your first year, you get more vacation time than people who have worked for decades in a company would get. So I guess this reflection piece, this morning to seven, morning to night, work, work, work culture, at some point it needed to be pulled back and I guess it needed a pandemic to pull us back. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, I don't know that anything short of a pandemic would have pulled us back. Right. And then my fear is that we will forget, I think we have short-term memories and we will forget and get back into this rat race. I'm hopeful that this younger generation that is entering into the workplace right now, that they won't allow us to because it is not their value to work, work, work and right from sun up to sun down and go back and do it again the next day. They have much fuller and much things that are more important to them outside of the work life is how I should say it. And so I don't know that they're going to allow us to go back to that, what I call a rat race all the time. And I completely agree with you when I visited Spain and there were Madrid specifically, I was in and your unemployment was high and people's spirits were high. And the one thing that they did, regardless if they had a job or not, regardless if they were, it was spend time with family and friends. And that was the most important thing in their day. And I took so much from that and understood the importance of it. And that goes back to the connection that you were talking about. 

Arun Upneja: You know, I'm so happy you mentioned this generation as well. So on one side, we have the pandemic and you mentioned the other side, we have this generation of young people coming, entering. In a way, it's going to benefit even us older generations who are used to working, you know, around the clock. When I started at the age of 19 in my first job, I would go on a 7 to 4 shift, and 4, 5 p.m. 6 p.m. 7 p.m. at 7 to 8, somewhere I would make an excuse and say, I have this work to do, so I have to go. But why would I have to make an excuse? Four hours past my shift ending time to say, okay, I need to leave now. But in a way, I'm very happy that this young generation is sort of pulling that bank because so much work is not good. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: I completely agree. And I think that they are very, they're very artful in the way that they are teaching us. Because to your point, I'd do the same thing. And if you had to leave when you were supposed to be gone at 5 o'clock anyway, you had to leave at 8 p.m. and everyone else was still there, you would make an excuse of, oh, you know, I really got it, instead of just saying like, I'm leaving, because I actually have something else outside of work to do. I remember the first time that I was leading this up and coming generation and someone talked to me about a mental health day. And it took me a moment to go like, okay, so what is that? And that like, is that real? And then I had to stop myself and realize like, wait a minute, this is real. And it is something that we haven't paid enough attention to. And good for her for letting me know that she's not okay today. And that she actually needs some time to get back to where she wants to be so that she can thrive in this environment. So it definitely is, we have to, we've got to slow down, we've got to learn our generation because it is not how we grew up. 

Arun Upneja: Right. And you know, when I speak to people of our generation, sometimes many of them are very contemptuous of these young people and saying that they are soft, they just don't know how to do hard work, and, you know, there's some, for some reason, I think there is in some people that attitude of, you know, be on the job all the time just has persisted, and they're not seeing that, you know, family time, like you said earlier, is important. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes. And I think that sometimes we get into this mode of, well, if I had to do it, you have to do it. Right. And I worked hard and I, what's that old saying that people used to say, I walked uphill both ways in the snow, right, all of those pieces, which most of that wasn't true. But it was this communication that like I have worked, right, tooth and nail to earn this and you've got to do the same. And what we are, what's lacking in that is the innovations that have happened, like the technology that's happened, all of these things that this generation, they're working much smarter than we ever were able to just from the tools that they have. And so for us to still put this hard work, day and night, uphill both ways on them is actually, it's a little old school of us. And some of us are stuck in that, not learning and growing with the new way of doing things. 

Arun Upneja: Well, just for clarification, I did go uphill both ways when I was growing up. So yesterday, AHLA released a survey results. They're saying that 71% of respondents, obviously hotel owners, are increasing wages, 64% are offering greater flexibility with hours, 33% are expanding benefits. But 81% say that they're still unable to fill open positions. So what is it going to take for companies to be able to fill this position? They need to offer, like you mentioned, creative total compensation package. So how should companies think about creating that total compensation package so that they can not only hire people but also retain the employees that they have? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yeah, I think there's a couple of things in there. And I do think that there's a lot of companies doing some of the right steps of looking at the flexibility, both in time and in place, right? The hybrid of like you can spend, you can work three days at home and two days in the office. Those types of things, because we do know that innovation and that, right, that creativity happens when you're in groups. And so that togetherness time is important to make sure that we're getting the creativity out of teams. But then there are other times where you don't need people in the office and just forcing them to come in just because is has really right. It's a it's a it's passed. And so people are looking at it differently. And even a good amount of companies that have come out and said they're doing a four day work week now. And they're finding that it is it is equally as productive. I think some of the other things is a little bit of what we were talking about right before this was kind of that mental health. And our companies is focused on the mental health programs and making sure that we are right for people and for teams. And that we give them, excuse me, what they need, not just what they want out of a company. I think the other piece of that is living your values. There's a lot of companies that put those values on the wall and then they don't actually follow through on a good amount of it. And I think that this generation is keeping us honest to that they're actually pointing that out and saying, well, wait a minute, you told me this and this and this, and you're actually not living that, and so I'm actually not willing to stay anymore. I think some of the other pieces will be that total compensation a few extra days off, especially, I think we've got to get really creative, especially for the frontline worker, right? I come from retail, I come from hospitality, right? There's the customer in most cases is actually in the building in brick and mortar. And so we have to have people in the building, but it does it does mean we have to get creative with some of the other pieces. I used to say when I was in retail, right, like the customer, you just got to take the money at the end, right? That's that's what we have to do. We got to treat the customer right and take the money at the end, and we've got to have people in the stores to do that. But it doesn't mean that we then close our eyes to some of the other things that we should be doing. 

Arun Upneja: Right. So you mentioned values that the company espouses and puts them on the board somewhere all over the place, but they don't live by them. So what are the elements of a positive work culture and what are the challenges of creating a positive work culture in any organization? And could you also address how developing the culture of an organization plays into rebuilding hospitality from the inside out? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yeah, I think that cultures can be a lot of different things, right? You think about family and groups and all those things, they represent a lot of different things. But I think that there's a couple of things that are probably core to it is being good to people, right? And assuming good intentions. And in the workplace, what I call that is giving people great bosses and hiring right. And so, there's a lot of times where we get into this panic mode and we just hire whoever. When if we actually had a structured interview process that we actually took the time to do, then you would be able to ask people about what's important to them, what motivates them. They would then understand more about you and the company and understand if you're a match, right? I'm going to talk later in a class about an I culture versus a we culture. Neither one is right or wrong. But the people that you would hire for either one of those cultures should really match that culture. Because if I'm a we culture person and I go and work for an I culture, I'm not going to be happy and they're not going to be happy with me. And so truly understanding what's the culture that you want to build and then hiring the people that match that I think are really important. I think the other piece of it is, is that overwhelmingly in majority of surveys, right? And research everywhere, somewhere in that research and in that survey, people have said that they are not getting developed. They are not engaged by their employer and by their boss. And they are not seeing advancement opportunities. And so that is something that's really important to people. And I would even say the development and the time and energy spent on their development and engaging them is probably even more important than the actual promotion that happens. And when we don't spend time giving people these fantastic bosses that truly understand that, that understand the holistic person and develop to that, then I think it is a challenging culture, whether you have an I culture or a we culture or either one you want to build. I think that that is challenging when you don't hire the right people and give them great bosses. 

Arun Upneja: So I want to dig a little bit into the culture issue. Do companies, I know that culture evolves independently of anything that people might want to do, but what percentage of companies or examples have you seen of companies where there is a conscious effort to create and say, this ABC is supposed to be our culture and we're going to work towards creating it, and how successful is generally those kind of attempts? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, I think that not enough people are intentional with their culture. And I always say this about culture and personal brand, whether you're intentional or not, you're building one. And so there is one being built. And so if you can, if you intentionally are able to say, here are the things that we want and it's important to us, the C-suite and the CEO really sets the tone for that. So what can't happen is we can't say, right, that this is important, like human being human is important to us and being kind to people. And then turn around and don't show that. That is an intentional break of the contract that people have said that, this is what I signed up for, this is what you told me, and this is what you are doing that's different. I think that you can be intentional, you can set the tone, and then it comes in with who you hire that upholds that culture and who you bring in that continues to uphold that culture. The C-suite and the vice presidents are really important. I was talking to a class this morning, and in my dissertation, I talked to a bunch of C-suite men in retail about women in retail and promotional opportunities, all these types of things, basically gender bias. And I had one CEO that told me, and I stuck in my mind because it was so impactful, he told me, he sets the culture at the top. And one of his number one jobs is actually finding the people who sit at the table and nod to him, yes, and agree, and then they go out in his culture and they actually do the opposite. He said it is very important for him to find those folks and get them out because they will ruin anything that they're trying to build. And so I think being intentional, the follow through, and the accountability is really important to set the culture. And I think you can be successful in doing it. I think the challenges, time and money, and those are usually, I always joke when you say, companies are allergic to it, right? The additional time that it takes to be that intentional and to follow through and to follow up. Because a lot of times companies are up against time. And they're up against, we've got to deliver this really fast. We've got to do this and we've got to move. And then of course, the time equates to money and resources. And so I think that that's the challenge that's budding up against each other. 

Arun Upneja: That's very interesting. So the CEO has to sit around the table and say, okay, who's saying yes? Who's saying yes to me and then goes and does the opposite? How often, is it possible for people to change? So CEO says, okay, this person is saying yes to me, but then goes out and does the opposite. Can that person be retrained? Can that person change? Or the only choice you have is to say, once you observe that and you say, okay, this person needs to go, I need to get the right person. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: So yes, they absolutely can change. I think that what the boss or the C, whoever they report into, that's the work that has to be done between them and that person, is to understand why there is a difference between sitting around the table and nodding your head yes and then going out and doing something different. Is there a culture or a courage challenge, right, that they don't feel open to be able to tell their real ideas and their real thought process and have that discussion? Cuz I think the discussion would create possibly a different understanding. And so you have to create the platform for the discussion so you can understand. Is this person just really not right for our culture? Or is this person, you know what, they're right for our culture. There was some misunderstandings. They didn't understand this. We were able to have discussions. We didn't understand this, right? So there's that discussion that's really important. I think the other part of change that I think every change model talks about is that what's in it for me. And if people don't understand the with them and the what's in it for me, it is going to be more challenging to get them on board to the change. 

Arun Upneja: So this we talked about employees or people who are reporting to you. You worked with so many different managers and leaders for, obviously not everyone is perfect. So for culture to change, for someone to have been intentional about putting some sort of a culture, leaders need to look at themselves, be self aware of what's and be willing to change. So first of all, in your experience, have you seen examples of leaders who, when pointed out, actually transform themselves and say, okay, this is what I'm messing up, I'm going to change? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: I have seen those leaders. I think to your point, I've seen leaders that also didn't do it and they said that they were going to change and they did not. And then I have to, I think the leaders have a lot of responsibility. And I always say this, right, the leaders have to make sure that we're communicating clearly, that we get alignment amongst the team, that people know their core roles, that we've trained them, that we've given the resources that they need, that we're removing obstacles. A leader has a lot of work to do. And to remove all of these pieces to allow the talent to actually do what they're great at. Now, I do think that in some cases, we may have just hired wrong. Right, where the person isn't right for the culture and where we were trying to go. I think that that happens very often because when we get in, I always say when we go to the grocery store hungry, and then we get five packs of Oreos and no protein. Then we look up and all of a sudden in a month, we're like, well, this is what we actually really needed and we didn't get that. But that's on us, that's not on that person that signed up for the job because we didn't communicate and we weren't clear. I have seen people, especially through with coaching, have some great breakthroughs of saying, I don't want to do, my intention is not to be seen as this person. That is not my intention when I ask questions, when I'm direct, when I do some of these things. So how do I change this behavior? And so we've had those discussions and sometimes people will slide back. There's nothing perfect about it. But what is really important is the self-awareness to know when I'm feeling this or when I hear myself say this, that means I'm probably not where I want to be and I'm not probably not doing and acting and behaving the way I want to and to start pulling yourself back and to be self-aware. I think it's a little bit, for lack of a better term, lazy when the leader always wants the team to just tell them, well, they should have told me and they should have given me that feedback and they should have, well, yeah, they should have. And maybe they did once or twice, but after a while and you don't take it and you don't act on it, then they're going to stop and they're not going to keep telling you and not going to keep coming to you. 

Arun Upneja: So, you work with large companies such as WeWork and Target and also most recently as a coach through your own company. So, what are the biggest challenges of coaching executives? This question is particularly relevant to me because you're currently working with our team at the School of Hospitality Administration. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, I think some of the challenges of working with executives is a little bit of what we've chatted about is if someone is not willingly taking on a coach, I see too often where someone gets assigned a coach and that very rarely works out because if they don't actually want the coach and they don't see the benefit from it and someone is coming to them saying, oh no, you need a coach, that already puts up defenses and the key to a coaching partnership is this trust and being able to be honest with each other and being able to know that person and know that I'm there to help. I'm not there to judge. I'm not there to point fingers. I'm actually there to help and the intention is to get you where you actually want to be. So I think that that's the first biggest challenge that I see is if companies hire me and then they say, and you're going to go coach this person and my first question is always, do they want to coach? And before I commit to it, I always say I have to talk to them. And then that first 30 minutes is always, why do you want to coach? What do you think you'll see the benefits of? And if I don't get the sense that they wanted to coach, I will actually will not take the job. I think the other thing is that people, especially if they've been doing something for a while and they've seen success with it, it's challenging to change that because that's where their identity lies and that's where they say, this is where my success is, and now you're telling me that this isn't what I should be doing. Well, you know, that book, What Got You Here, Won't Get You There, and people getting them to believe that and getting them to see that things and times and people have changed and so they have to change with that is very challenging sometimes, especially when someone has seen great success with what they have done previously. So I do think that that's a challenge also when I run into executives. And then I think the last one is time. You know, no company that I've ever worked with has said, you got all the time in the world to get the results, like just, you know, just take your time. And so there's we're always up against this time crunch of what do we need to accomplish for the year? And then how do we get you to do it in the right way? Because there's a difference between getting it done and doing it in the right way that's going to be sustainable. And I think that that's a big challenge also. 

Arun Upneja: What advice would you give to leaders who are working on their world culture, being intentional about their work culture? So what are some of the low hanging fruit type of recommendations to get started? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yeah, so I'm going to give you the bad news is that culture, there's not a whole lot of quick fixes in culture. So, but and that's why, right, you can get some things done and people say, right, the execution is a lot easier, but you always have to be working on that culture and the back and the you're in the background because the culture is what helps you sustain it. Because you can say, you know, you can say get it done. And then someone gets it done in the completely wrong way. It gets company values all those pieces. So I would say the low hanging fruit is to be very intentional and clear about values and higher to those values what we were chatting about before. Because if you have these values and you're really clear on them and you're clear on, yes, you can actually get that result. But we care about how you get the result. And if you get it through people, that fits our culture. If you get it through just bulldozing through people, that is actually not our culture. And if you spot that behavior and you call it out and you continuously really say that is not what matches here, that is low hanging fruit. And that is all about alignment, being very clear with the message and follow through. And the follow through is what usually happens to fall off, because we will see someone do something that's not aligned with what we actually think, and then we'll go, oh, I'll just, it's fine. It was one instance. That one instance is an impression in the culture, because how many people were watching. And so I think the follow through piece is the low hanging fruit, along with that structured interview process to make sure that you're hiring right from the very beginning. And for people who want to be in your culture and who will thrive in your culture, you've got to make sure that you understand what that means, and that when you're interviewing that people understand what that means. 

Arun Upneja: Fantastic. So that was the low hanging fruit. If anyone wants to go into it in more depth, please hire Coach Quen, and she will go as deep as you want on this issue. So I want to switch. This is the last question I have before we go to the speed round for someone looking for a job. So this is on the other end. You're new, you've just graduated, and you're interviewing for your first job after college or grad school. What are some of the red flags to look at when you're interviewing that, okay, I want to get to know this company, and this is a red flag. I don't want to work here, or I want to work here. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yeah, that's a great question because I think so often, especially like when we want a job, and when we are interviewing, we just really want the job versus taking the time to interview that company also. And any great company will know and expect for you to come and interview them. So that's a red flag if they seem to get irritated with your questions. That's a big red flag to probably run. I think another red flag is the lack of clarity. If you get an opportunity to interview with multiple people, and they're saying things that are completely different and disjointed, and this person, it's very clear that this person isn't talking to this other person, and they're working in silos, I think if you're a person that likes working in silos and individual contributor, then that may be the culture for you. That wouldn't be the culture for me, because I'm very much a team-oriented, collaboration, cohesive workgroup. So I think that that's another red flag is that when there's not clarity, my fear is where are we moving towards, and are we all moving towards the same spot, and do we even know what we're trying to accomplish? So I think that that would be another red flag. And then the last red flag, and it may be just because for me, it's a high value, and it's a sign of disrespect of if there's chaos, and they're not showing up on time, multiple people are showing up on time to your interviews. And then like I really, this actually happened to me. I had an interview where someone, they rescheduled it three times, which, you know, that type of stuff happens. People are especially at some of the levels that you're going to be interviewing with. But then they showed up, and then they put me on hold, and I was on Zoom sitting there watching them in there, talking to someone else in their office, and then they'd come off, you know, mute, and then they would go back on mute, and then all of a sudden the interview was over because they ran out of time. That's a red flag, right?And when that happened to me, I said, I appreciate it, but I don't think so. Because the red flag is, are they really valuing that process? Are they really valuing people? Are they putting the importance into that? That time is so important to make sure that you're bringing the right people in. And so when you don't do that, then I think it's a red flag. 

Arun Upneja: It's very interesting. So many times, you know, when I'm interviewing people, I'm pretty much the last step in the process. And I say, OK, now I've asked you the questions I wanted to ask. What about your questions? And many times people look at the list of questions and say, you know what, I've already asked all my questions. I've met so many people. And generally I say, well, it's fine. You can ask them again, because if you get a different answer, then you know that this team is not on one page. Perfect, yeah. So go ahead and ask. I don't know what you asked and what answers you got. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: That's very true. And that is someone who is possibly, they have prepped for an interview versus really there to find out about the company and be comfortable enough to go, I know what I'm bringing to the table. I've got to figure out what you're bringing to the table also, and let's have the conversation. And so yes, and so they're trying to be, you know, respectful of, what if they go to each other and compare notes? Okay, great, then they'll know that you were very consistent in what was important to you. So yes, I think it's a perfect response that is like, go ahead, I would love for you to ask me those questions. 

Arun Upneja: And like you said, I think people are trying to make an impression, so they have the questions. It's like, okay, candidates are asked, what is your weakness? And you say, you know, I am just, attention to detail is my weakness. So they try to have weaknesses that are sort of, you know. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: That are positives, yeah. You know what, it's so funny, I've had multiple people do that. And my team will say that I am a detailed interviewer, which I accept that. I'm proud of that fact because I take it very seriously to really interview people. And when multiple people have given me an answer like that, and I will say, nope, I don't accept it. Or I'll say, okay, great. So you, what is that caused by? Is it time management? Is it lack of time management? Is it, right, something? And so then we start there. Well, no, no, it's not time. Okay, well, let's talk about what you really, because we all have our crazy. We all have the stuff that we're not great at. So let's have the real conversation. And it doesn't mean that it just means that you're self-aware. That's what I'm looking for. So I usually don't let people get away with the, you know, I just, people tell me I just work all the time. And then I, great, is that time management issue? Is that like, are you prioritizing work over other stuff in life? And then it gets them to open up and actually tell you the real stuff. 

Arun Upneja: Fantastic. You're a tough interviewer. Okay, so I'm glad I'm the one interviewing and not you interviewing me. That would be scary. Okay, so for fun, we always end our podcast with a speed round of questions. Are you ready? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: I am ready. This is what makes, this part made me more nervous than anything. I'm ready, I think. 

Arun Upneja: When you were a kid and people asked you, what do you want to be when you grow up? What was the answer? 

Funny enough, I used to say that I wanted to be a brain surgeon. And I think the core of that is still the same. I just think of myself as a different type of brain surgeon. 

I just talk to people and kind of dig into their brains. But I broke that the first time I saw, I don't know what I was watching, but I saw blood on television, right? Like someone doing some operation. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: I'm sure it was some television show. And I said, nope, I'm out. I can't do that. So it shifted into really just, you know, digging in, trying to understand, being a problem solver. So that passion never went away. But I used to say brain surgeon all the time. And now I don't even know what I was thinking. I could never do that job. 

Arun Upneja: Well, you are still a brain surgeon without cutting and opening. You are still going inside the people's brain. If you could have dinner with any four people living or dead, who would they be? 

Quendrida Whitmoree: OK, so I want to sound smart during this question, but I cannot because some of this stuff I want. So first off, I'm going to cheat because I'm going to say the Obamas. And that's one. That counts as one person. And I know that that's not true. Because if you give it to me, I want all four. I want Michelle Barack and the two daughters because I actually really want to understand what it was like being the first in the White House and how they lived through that and how they really maneuvered in the family conversations that they had. I could only imagine. Before they went in, while they were there, and you see all of them a little more loose now, right? A little more like themselves. Yes. And so I would love to have that conversation. Brene Brown, Dr. Brene Brown, who's a researcher down at University of Houston, but she has TED Talks out there, and she talks all about vulnerability and shame, and she's done all sorts of research on it. And courageously living and courage being from like living from the heart, not that it's, you know, just so simple for you. I think that's why I like her, because she doesn't pretend that anything is easy, right? She talks about vulnerability and how much she fought being vulnerable, right? And how much she hated and didn't want to do it, and how she sometimes backslides. And I think that lack of, like, it's not easy, but the courage to continue forward and the courage to actually push through it, I think is the important part. So I really like her. This next one, you're going to probably think that I'm a ridiculous person, but Lee Harvey Oswald, because I want to know what happened. Like, I just want to know. There's all these theories out there. There's all these, like, I just want to know what really happened. And I want the documents to be open, all the classified documents that they still haven't opened. So I figured that if I talked to Lee Harvey Oswald, that I'd be able to figure all of that out. 

Arun Upneja: I'm particularly intrigued, Dr. Renee Brown, because she's from my alma mater, University of Houston. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Yes, that's right. I absolutely, I will watch and read anything that she does, because I feel like that is just such a genuine from the heart. And it's real, right? I think there's a lot of leaders out there, they will say all of this stuff is just like, you know, they'll give you the advice and they'll, but they don't talk about the struggles that they've gone through. They don't talk about like, this wasn't easy for me. And I think that's what makes it makes her real. And I think it makes it resonate with a lot of people. 

Arun Upneja: Two more to go. The next one is complete the sentence. Good leaders know how to. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Meet people where they are and help them get to where they want to be. 

Arun Upneja: Engaged employees know how to. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Take care of each other, take care of the customer, and in turn, take care of the company. 

Arun Upneja: Fantastic. Quenrida, thank you so much for joining us for our Distinguished podcast, sharing your time and talent with us as our executive in residence this week. I know there's more to come. 

Quendrida Whitmoree: Thank you. I appreciate the time. Thank you so much for continuing to invite me back into your home. I appreciate it. 

Arun Upneja: And thank you, everyone, for joining us today. Special thanks to the team who produces this podcast, Mara Littman, Andy Hallock, and the entire team at Boston University School of Hospitality Administration. To keep up with Distinguished podcasts, be sure to subscribe wherever you listen to your favorite podcast. You can also learn more about our undergraduate and graduate programs at Boston University School of Hospitality Administration by visiting bu.edu.